I had an interesting night out, met new people, and learned lots of things about music, history and culture. I finally went to Encomium at FBR Arcade, Katipunan Avenue, across the Ateneo. Cozy place where people know each other. Ala Paredes was there.

COMPSAT, the Computer Society of Ateneo, had a party last night at KAFE. The bands were loud. The event was called "Reboot" and apparently is a relaunch of an org that has lapsed into dormancy. This triggered off memories circa 1992 when COMPSAT was founded from the merger fo two separate computer organizations. I started in the Special Operations group which was an R&D effort, but in my senior year I became a PR man by taking the position of VP for External Affairs (or something similar).

I was at the Web Awards at Dusit Hotel last night. Too bad I was late for the cocktails - I could have met more people there. I was also frustrated that there were people who recognized me but I could not recall who they were. That's my mental handicap.

Surprises for the night were Juice winning in the Media category, and seeing my old coworker Jett Tayer pick up the two prizes for the Ang Dating Daan website. I sat in a very winning part of the ballroom, with people from the winning Grabeh and 2StudyIT. In front of me were consistent raffle winners from Perpetual Help University.

It was funny that I was (apparently) the only person to cheer for indiefilipino. It was also funny that some people I don't know cheered for me when my picture was flashed on the big screen as part of the judges' roster!

Performers were Rock Awards hall-of-famer Wally Gonzales "and friends," Session Road, and a new pop singer, "Nina." The main hosts were Lexi Schulze and Paolo Abrera. Their mistake of the night for me was mistaking Wally Gonzales and friends for the original Juan de la Cruz Band.

Showbiz hosts included Amanda Griffin, and the Miss Internet from Binibining Pilipinas. The hosts from industry included: Ver Pena of Philippine Computer Society, and Monette Hamlin of TeamAsia.

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Earlier in the day, I played a total of three rounds of Dance Maniax. I can now play three rounds of five-star songs! I got to meet the PEx Percussion Freaks veterans at G4.

I've started on a new project, so program design is keeping me busy. At least, I can earn cash. Finally.

Loi Estrada's name is now being used in an Internet scam. Come to think of it, Marcos could have been a good dummy to use.

For all of you out there complaining about the Rock Awards, Jim Ayson explains in the pinoyrock group:

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I think if there are any serious questions about NU, maybe you should ask NU :-) Regarding the procedures, it is really simple.

a) The fans nominate the artists. Top scorers become the official nominees. Its mainly a popularity poll.

b) A board of judges is convened among NU outsiders (I was a judge in '98), they get to vote their picks from the nominees and have a certain percentage in the final score. They also get to keep all the CDs :-)

c) The staff of NU107 also gets to vote - now this might be the sticky part, but there is an internal process to inhibit in cases of conflicts of
interest.

Every year, people complain about the rock awards, "pare pareho ang nananalo", "luto" etc. hahaha
Every year I tell them - just dont take the awards too seriously and you'll be fine.

Because it's not a formal awards body. If it was it would be run by a
foundation, have auditors during the awards, etc.

Because as even NU will tell you, the Rock Awards is mainly a radio station promotion that got bigger and bigger.

Because at its heart, the Rock Awards is mainly an excuse to party at the end of the year - thats' why people come in outrageous fashions.

I also suspect Atom Henares loves the rock awards because its more excuses to mingle with movie star babes! :-)

I wrote a piece last year about this, see
http://www.philmusic.com/zine/news/2001/12/120601_nu107.
It touches a bit on your concerns. Bottom line is don't take the RA too seriously! Its really just a fabulous rock n roll party .

There are formal awards bodies that recognize rock in their categories, that include the Awit and Katha awards. Between the two, I think Katha is the more credible one because musicians are the ones who vote.

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Lionel aka acid42 narrates the electronicamanila event from his point of view.

Here are the minutes of the book club meeting. Unfortunately, the new people I wanted to meet backed out for various reasons.

Funny incident of the night: When I entered the cafe, a girl was reading a book. I thus asked her if she was a book club member! Not. She turned out to be a friend of the establishment's owners.

November 23, 2002
Perk Twenty One Cafe, Liberty Center, Mandaluyong City

Attendees: Cha, Eric, James, Migs, Oliver

We started by discussing variations on the traditional Book Club method of discussing one book a month. We considered letting attendees discuss different books by the same author for fiction, or about the same theme for non-fiction.

We decided to restart the meetings by letting members share their favorite and most influential books, on why "they changed their
lives." Listeners who wish to remain quiet may also attend. With this, iit will be easier to start the meetings again since minimum preparation is required from the attendees. A facilitator will ensure the proper flow of the discussion.

We agreed to promote the club outside of PinoyExchange, to other
online communities and real-lif friends.

This type of discussion will require a "serious" venue. Eric proposed
and will facilitate three venues:

1. Libris book shop in Paranaque
2. Ink and Stone at the Podium
3. Crowded House at Vinzons, UP

These venues can also help recruit attendees from their patrons. The
club will help the venues develop regular patrons. ("Clique" and mortar selling).

----

We also talked about some books:


- Darwin's Ghost
- Biography of a Germ
- The Quotable Einstein
- Six Equations that Changed the World

I'll have to stop going out to watch bands for now, I'm really not used to staying up late and my head hurts in the daytime. I've been posting a bit about artist distribution, production, and financing at indiefilipino. I hope these let me keep normal hours.

It sucks when your body doesn't cooperate with what you want to do! I guess it's how your physical traits affect your life, personality and being.

Wednesday night, I had a party with my old friends - a married couple - and their friends, where I caught up with a few people from high school. Afterwards, I went to Freedom Bar to watch the band Matilda. I like their sound! I would describe it as a harder dream pop. I then got to meet them afterwards - Yvette, Meryl, Charms and Jovi. Hands down to Manager Jovan! (They have a thread at peyups.com).

Last night, we had the first ever PinoyJUG EB, our first non-technical meeting. The plan was to bowl at Megamall, but we had to put it off since Digitel had a company tournament. (Why don't they hold it in Robinsons'?). So, we had dinner first. I don't bowl - or play any sport, for the matter - so I just stuck around for a while before I headed off to the next event of the night.

This was the second recital or public performance of the electronicamanila group. It was very interesting to see the gear live in action, especially when Rubber Inc. had a live percussionist/performance artist playing a steel drum which triggered their samples. Big Sky Mind was full of people who came to see Squid 9. Unfortunately, Raimund Marasigan had to explain that he wasn't prepared with his electronica stuff. So, he and his crew played an acoustic approximation of it. I was still impressed by Zach Lucero's rendition of electronic beats - it was my first time to see him play something harder. Raimund switched between lead guitar, rap vocals, and a one octave keyboard used by one of the electronica artists. Dreamy vocals were done by Vin Dancel and Kathy Meneses. Buddy Zabala played the acoustic bass, the type with a mic in it. Kris Dancel took over the guitar when Raimund did the Sandwich-style vocals.

While waiting for a cab to get home, at around 1:30 AM, I saw a utility truck with guys pushing up the power lines across E. Rodriguez St. A few moments later, a huge trailer truck passed by, carrying a train cab labeled "Test Run." I think it's for the LRT-2! It was a quick spectacle since traffic police made the street one-way in the Cubao direction.

PEx Book Club meeting tonight. I hope it works out and we can get things going again.

I was at the NU 107 Rock Awards. It was the first time I received the invitations to the event, but they turned out to be unnecessary!

The most interesting band for me was Pan, the new band of Dong Abay, known for Yano. Unfortunately I could not make out the lyrics. I'm sure they were very good.

The music was bad, but at least the spectacle was entertaining, and I got to meet indiefilipino staffers and members - the gang of Joey Brash. After the event I talked with friends about plans to bridge the gap between artists and patrons with the tech stuff I do. We went to Big Sky Mind where some other scene people hung out (to detox?) after the Awards.

For the tech, I spent today studying a bunch of stuff that I'll be documenting at techscene. It's all related to pushing bits, and that's what I want to do for the arts and the indie scene!

Looks like MMS Messaging has some interesting uses. The old adage of pornography driving technology is showing true again. I don't need the multimedia, or the camera, right now, but if entertainment apps are driving it, then I could jump in!

Michael Tan provoked my thoughts with his column on Social Capital. It makes me realize that techies have a responsibility towards society. Since I'm dabbling into media now, it's close to the tangible representation of intangible culture.

There is an adage, "God will give you the right person when you're ready." I believe that to be true, since it would be unfair to the "other" to have me now in my confused state. There is a lot to think about myself, being introspective and reflecting.

This post is a tribute to my teachers. Since we all learn from life, meeting people is a matter of learning and teaching. My current frustration - which some would say is a trivial thing - is my lesson in patience, humility, and acceptance.

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Speaking of the God in the phrase above, let me turn back to Everything and Nothing. I heard the phrase again when talking to my uncle, with regards to spiritual beliefs. He also brought up Taoism, which led me to this overview of Lao Tzu and philosophical Taoism.

Right now, I could be best described as a pantheist, as described in this pantheism page. My core beliefs are: there is no personal God, and these are devices allowing us to focus on the Universe. Thus, the God above is a device.

Praying to a God is a hard habit to break, so for a change, I pray to the Goddess instead. Since love is what I pray most for, a feminine Goddess is an appropriate device.

Another belief that goes against the page above is belief in reincarnation. I definitely don't believe in a "heaven" or "hell," but I find it difficult to think that when we die, it's the end of our consciousness. My belief is now shifting away from us all having individual souls or consciousnesses, towards having a single one. In our current existence, we are aware of a limited subset of this.

I also believe in the possibility of supernatural things. Instead of looking at these as "mysteries," I think they are part of reality beyond our current understanding of space/time.

-------------------------

This Friday, the electronicamanila event at Big Sky Mind will include the Squid 9 project of Raimund Marasigan. It's his first public performance, and I should be there to watch. I'm listening to his album Inkjet right now, and I like it because it's electronic rock, and not the usual "techno" dance beats. In other words, it's rock rhythms and arrangements that happen to be brought to life by electronic gear.

I've been working on the presentation outlines for PH-CERT.

I'm going to attend a big event, my first time! I'll tell you about it, afterwards!

I've been posting more at the indiefilipino forums. More people now, and more interesting ideas going around.

Most of the day was spent jamming at a Sta. Mesa studio with PEx members. Nothing serious at all.
I love it even if I'm not serious about playing because you really get to work with other people and learn new things.

To the next Jamming EB! We should be organized and have more people next time. Just four of us today.

New word for the day: Blethers. It's the Scots word for chatting about everything and nothing.

you can have anyone in a daydream


big or small short or tall anyone at all

you can have anyone in a daydream


young and old truth be told anyone who fits your mold

you can have anyone in a daydream


here's one thing you can't deny there's no such thing as wrong or right

- Anyone in a Daydream, written by Brain Salad (Basti Artadi, David Aguirre, Louie Talan and Brian Velasco)

.....................................................

I've been brooding for a long time about not finding the right person, Today was quite melancholic (credits to the friend who got the word for it), as I was thinking about a discussion earlier this afternoon, related to to the "thinking too much" theme.

I know I need to be patient, but that might be too much a cliche. I've been waiting for too long - like, my whole life. (I'm not joking. Some people I tell about this, think I am. I have never had a committed relationship.)

I'm frustrated in the irony that I'm sociable enough to meet people, but nothing happens.

I fear that people look down at me because of it. I guess it's a phobia since it's an irrational fear, but then I'm very conscious of it. I look at it as something that everyone has gone through - so why is it that I'm not capable of it?

Am I too nerdy? I asked my friend, who said yes. I felt bad about my nerd image, since I've been reading a bit on PEx that the girls didn't like nerdy guys. Alas I don't think I can change it, it's really me, no matter what non-techie things I do. If I weren't into IT tech stuff, I'd still be deeply passionate about some technical thing. Someone would have to accept me for what I am.

I've also realized - it's possible that I have high standards. Some say having standards is good, but a friend pointed out that I am looking at the wrong basis for standards. I usually say I'm looking for someone who's smart and simple. Perhaps conservative as well, since I regard myself as one. But I was reminded of the not-so-good thing that I'm looking for someone as a "status symbol," someone who's accomplished and well-known, so I would be identified with her. Bad.

I was told that I'm affectionate. I hope my affection is requited soon. I'm told I'm trying too hard in making an effort, but then I'm conscious of time passing me by.

Times like these, I get frustrated that the world is imperfect and so are we. I'll need to find my way out of this confusion.

.....................................................

I spent today at the PH-CERT core group meeting, where made some plans. I'll be giving training. I played 3 games of Dance Maniax, and 1 of Percussion Freaks. The games weren't too good, but at least I got some exercise, on top of walking all over Makati.

I took a look at the McGraw-Hill MBA Seminar Series at Powerbooks Pasay Road but it was too technical. Instead, I browsed magazines, and read the graphic novels JLA Earth 2 and Death: The Time of your Life. The latter, Neil Gaiman's writing, got me thinking seriously. These are quite old, but I'm not a serious reader, anyway.

I posted about last night's party. Interesting people there, though still at the college level.

I started a PEx thread about thinking too much. I hope to get some insights.

A Self-Conscious Post

A friend tells me that I think about things too much. This journal shows it by enumerating facts and not emotions. I'm afraid that's true - I want everything I do to have a reason or a "higher purpose," more than just entertainment.

I don't think I could change that. I just have to channel it into showing positive sides of myself. "Being logical" is the basis of my fanatic work in the past, but it leads to anguish when it clashes with other things, like society's expectations.

I don't think I'm cold-hearted, anyway.
Perhaps I'm too insensitive to notice?

I was supposed to post to techscene about the last night's party for
the ACM programming contest, but my browser crashed after a paragraph's typing. I'll post again later.

I don't feel like doing much, nowadays.

My literature guru friend told me to read Julian Barnes for some intelligent fiction that can dispel my notion of reading fiction as entertainment only. Before I can spend on fiction out of my limited budget, there are some work related books I have to buy first.

I'm done ranking the Web Awards sites. That leaves one more piece of "work" that I don't feel up to doing, yet.

Slashdot led me to a discussion on an "alternative record industry". I want to adapt the ideas there to the local situation. An interesting link off the article is to mediAgora, "defining a new marketplace for media." These give me something to think about.

I should be sharing my public to-do list with you. It's a mix of tech and non-tech.

Some of Jovan's works are here. Now I know where her Indiefilipino forums avatar comes from!

The cousin of my Mom, the ever-bohemian "Tito" Jolicco Cuadra, came over. I helped him look for the poetry of Constantine Cafavy and George Barker (whose True Confession is here). I will be putting his biography online, and hopefully his epic poem, when he finishes it!

While judging sites for the Web Awards, I found out that the Philippine Stock Exchange has a souvenir shop. I know some people are addicted to the markets, but would those fanatics buy from here?

I've finally done something I should have, a long time ago. What a relief.

I went to Admit One last night with Alene. I was flipped enough to join the Funniest Joke contest, where I narrated Boo Chanco's spiel about San Miguel vs other beers. I lost the applause vote to the two guys from peyups.com.

I met with Lionel Valdellon aka acid42, and bought the CD of Clone, his electronica trio. (His acid42 is now pending on my list). I talked a little tech with drummer/C++ guy Mikah Azurin, known better to some as the significant other of Annette of Fatal Posporos. I shared my ideas on my (yet non-existent) software for live percussion performance.

I later met up with Jaybee and his music-lover friend. Jovan told me about how she's recoding her site from scratch. I was surprised that Chino of Itchyworms formerly working in the Marketing department of my ex company. It was good that he remembered me, because my unreliable memory of people's faces stopped me from recalling him!

The musical highlight for the night was discovering Einstein Chakras. Some of the audience knew them well enough to sing along with their anti-capitalist anti-"war on terror" sung proclamations. ("Ayoko nang pumatay!"). I would say they're a modern punk rendition of the APO, with one of their songs reminding me of good old American Junk.

Speaking of politics, I took the political compass test and as expected, came out libertarian leftist. I would consider myself an anarchist capitalist, a worshipper of a totally free market. But then again, can I take the consequences of that on human development and welfare?

My list of things to do is growing. I didn't finish something I'm applying for - I'll tell you if I'm in (or out!)

An old friend, a literary genius, compared me with Alfred Prufrock. I just had to look it up and find T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. I'll be figuring out what it means.

I can't write poetry but I like reading out loud. I'm getting started on planning a poetry reading event. I'll share when it takes shape!

Visit wends' ePolitiko.com if you want to be informed about Philippine politics. It may suck, so let's make it suck less!

It's always great to have friends. I love them. Sorry if that's such a cliche'.

I've never been to an Admit One event, but I'm going to their anniversary this Saturday. Jovan has awesome concert photography. I hope to meet up with her again soon.

I've started looking at the Web Awards finalists... how to rate, how to rate...

I feel frustrated and pathetic.

I hope that this will pass.

Here are the 25 most powerful people in show business, according to the PCIJ (Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism). How about the top in tech?